The following is an exchange between Purujit Dasa and a devotee friend on Facebook. We highly recommend to read the whole exchange to understand this complex topic.
QUESTION : Hare Krishna, Purujit Prabhu
I stumbled upon a now-very controversial topic that Srila Prabhupada once (emphasis on once because there’s a lot of evidence that this should not take place) spoke on: rape. There’s a morning walk on which he says that “a woman likes a man who’s very expert at rape”, and if there’s pleasure then that means consent. Now, this at first sound quite hard and a little difficult to understand. I’m going to be honest, I was upset about this. Not only because of what Prabhupada said but because people where offending him and throwing away the whole sankirtana movement just by hearing this. So I became quite confused and perplexed. The thing is, in Mexico 10+ women are murdered every day and before this they are raped. Who would like to be raped and murdered? The government does little to nothing and most of the time they blame the women. Government does not protect women, there’s no protection to mothers (cow, earth, own mother etc) It’s something quite horrible. In Latin America feminism is a very very strong movement ( i do not consider myself feminist), and anything regarding this subject is like a time bomb: you push the wrong bottom and they’ll explode. People are very sensitive about this, so I became frightened on what they’d say if they hear this... what would they say about Prabhupada!? They’ll just think despicable things and offend and get mad. They’ll just throw agry statements and stop hearing about Krishna. How does one act? What’s our position when this happens? So I got quite sad and upset Prabhu, because I’m so impotent.
In the Bhagavat Gita’s 2nd chapter text 19 purport it’s stated that no one should hurt another living entity’s body.
“ma himsyat sarva-bhutani “
We also have text 21 from the same chapter
“vedavinasinam nityam
ya enam ajam avyayam
katham sa purusah partha
kam ghatayati hanti kam”
Now, why did Prabhupada say this? I tried to be most objective and asked for guidance to understand what he meant to say. I would never in my worst judgment would like to offend a Vaisnava, much less my Spiritual Master... so please, kindly tell me your thoughts on this reflection:
Both the man and woman taking pleasure in this action are in a very nether consciousness, animal-like consciousness, ultra tamo guna consciousness. What else there’s to say? I don’t doubt that, somewhere in the material universe or even this planet, there are wicked minds that like that... I am very ignorant though, since I don’t really have that much knowledge on Vedic literature to support this thought. And I am sorry for bothering you with this mundane topics. Believe me I tried to take my mind off of this, but what if someone argues against Srila Prabhupada with this? I’ll surely must be somewhat ready... I also remember that you said that if we’re not being challenged then we’re not making progress... Sorry, Prabhu:(, I don’t have anyone else giving me a deep Vedic opinion on this, so if you could kindly explain or give me some feedback, or if somehow or other I’ve offended Prabhupada please tell me, I will most appreciate it. Hari bolo
Victoria
ANSWER:
Hare Krishna, dear Victoria Mataji. Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Sorry for a little delay. I am getting back to your message about rape. I understand this is a controversial topic and also sensitive. There are many issues involved here and again please do not feel any discomfort raising these topics because they are important to understand and this will help you further in your Krishna consciousness.
So far I have understood from your message, you feel disturbed because people nowadays might think Prabhupada says raping is ok and that it is the womens fault because they feel pleasure when it happens. Of course, this is not what Srila Prabhupada is saying here. Anyway, let me explain point by point.
First of all, we must have faith that whatever Srila Prabhupada says is perfect. This is called surrender. We are free to associate with the spiritual master and observe him and try to see whether we can surrender to him, but after we accept him, we cannot go back and try to subject him to criticism, that would be an offense. Of course, if the guru is bogus, then we should reject him, but so long we have a relationship with the spiritual master, we must keep faith that whatever he says is not tinged by the four defects of material existence and whatever he says is perfect, although we might not always understand why he says something. Arjuna exemplifies such surrendered attitude of a disciple when he says:
sarvam etad rtam manye
yan mam vadasi kesava
O Krsna, I totally accept as truth all that You have told me.
Bg 10.14
At the same time we should not accept things blindly. If there is any doubt, we should clarify. I think you are trying to do this, which is most perfect. It is stated in the CC
siddhanta baliya citte na kara alasa
iha ha-ite krsne lage sudrdha manasa
A sincere student should not neglect the discussion of such conclusions, considering them controversial, for such discussions strengthen the mind. Thus one's mind becomes attached to Sri Krsna.
Adi 2.117
So let us analyse the relevant quotes where Srila Prabhupada speaks of this controversial topic of rape. The first quote is not exactly from a Morning walk, but from Srila Prabhupada's translation of the 4th Canto of the Srimad Bhagavatam. It is in the chapter about King Puranjana, who finds a single lady, whom he wants to marry. He asks for her hand and the lady agrees to marry him. She says:
O my dear hero, who in this world will not accept a husband like you? You are so famous, so magnanimous, so beautiful and so easily gotten.
Srila Prabhupada comments:
Every husband is certainly a great hero to his wife. In other words, if a woman loves a man, that man appears very beautiful and magnanimous. Unless one becomes beautiful in the eyes of another, one cannot dedicate his whole life to another. The husband is considered very magnanimous because he gives as many children to the wife as she likes. Every woman is fond of children; therefore any husband who can please his wife by sex and give her children is considered very magnanimous.
///// Ok. Let's start here. This is important. Every woman is fond of children. Male and female body is different. The most important difference is that female's body is most suitable for sheltering a baby and giving birth. It is a natural desire of every girl to have children. This desire to have children is stronger in woman than man and for this reason, the idea of sex life is slightly different from a woman's perspective than that of man's. //////
Srila Prabhupada continues:
Not only does the husband become magnanimous by begetting children, but by giving his wife ornaments, nice food and dresses, he keeps her completely under submission. Such a satisfied wife will never give up the company of her husband. Manu-samhita recommends that to keep a wife satisfied a husband should give her some ornaments because women are generally fond of home, ornaments, dresses, children, etc. In this way the woman is the center of all material enjoyment.
//////Since this desire to have children is so strong, men should not exploit it by having illegitimate sex life with a woman, but they must take care of her and the children. Woman desires all these things mentioned above because in this way she can create a suitable home atmosphere where a child can grow into a wonderful human being. If a man wants to derive inspiration, support and admiration from a woman who naturally gives these to a suitable man, he must in return give her all material facilities so her children can grow in peace and prosperity. It is for this reason we call her Mother -she binds the man to Matter.//////
Srila Prabhupada continues:
In this regard, the word vikhyatam is very significant. A man is always famous for his aggression toward a beautiful woman, and such aggression is sometimes considered rape. Although rape is not legally allowed, it is a fact that a woman likes a man who is very expert at rape.
SB 4.25.42
///// Ok, so here is the controversial statement. Let us analyse carefully.
"A man is always famous for his aggression toward a beautiful woman,..."
Here is a hint of how the material relationships work. Men are attracted to beautiful women. Because a woman has a strong desire to beget children which is a natural desire triggered by her material body, she wants to "woo a man." This is why girls by nature want to keep themselves always beautiful. Srila Prabhupada explains in an interview:
[Lady Interviewer:] The Krsna religion teaches that women are to be subservient to men always. Why?
[Devotee:] The Krsna religion teaches that women should be subservient, should be subordinate to men. She is asking why.
[Prabhupada:] Well, not "should be." They are, by nature. What do you think, your position?
[Lady Interviewer:] [laughing] I don't believe in that, of course. I disagree.
[Prabhupada:] But you voluntarily become subservient to a man. That is the nature.
[Lady Interviewer:] Does that make them less of a being?
[Prabhupada:] They are seeking to become subservient, attracting man: "Take me as subservient." That is natural.
(The Acarya Part 2)
Men do not need to do that because their role is different. They are supposed to control the woman in a meaningful way so she does not get diverted from her duties or from Krsna consciousness. For this reason women generally adore man who can conquer them.
"...and such aggression is sometimes considered rape."
Now, sometimes this endeavor of men to conquer or win over women is considered a rape. On one hand the girls want to woo men with the desire that men prove their worth by conquering them. On the other hand sometimes men step over the limits. This is the difficulty. It becomes difficult to say sometimes.
"Although rape is not legally allowed, it is a fact that a woman likes a man who is very expert at rape."
Rape means to have sex without the consent of the woman. Just analyzing what Srila Prabhupada is writing here: If a woman likes a man who is very expert in rape, then where is the rape then? It is an oxymoron. Either the woman is raped and she does not at all like it, or she likes it and then it is not a rape. The two are mutually exclusive. Here is a conversation from a morning walk where Srila Prabhupada discusses the matter:
Ganesa: They said that the man cannot be convicted of rape if he honestly believes that the woman consented to his raping her.
Prabhupada: Yes, that is law always. Rape means without consent, sex. Otherwise there is no rape. There was a rape case in Calcutta, and the lawyer was very intelligent. He some way or other made the woman admit, "Yes, I felt happiness." So he was released. "Here is consent." And that's a fact. Because after all, sex, rape or no rape, they will feel some pleasure. So the lawyer, by hook and crook, made the woman agree, "Yes, I felt some pleasure." "Now, there is consent." So he was released. After all, it is an itching sensation. So either by force or by willingly, if there is itching, everyone feels relieved itching it. That's a psychology. It is not that the women do not like rape. They like sometimes. They willingly. That is the psychology. Outwardly they show some displeasure, but inwardly they do not. This is the psychology.
Morning Walk – May 11, 1975, Perth
The psychology of man is that he wants to conquer, therefore the more the woman is restraining him, the more he becomes attracted. The psychology of a woman on the other hand is the opposite. She wants a man who is capable of providing for her, therefore the more he takes bold initiative, the more she becomes attracted. If a man is restraining himself from a woman, something is not right. He must be strongly attracted to her so he can commit and stay protecting her. Therefore, sometimes a girl shows outwardly displeasure when a man makes advances to her to invoke his lust more. For this reason, it is sometimes difficult to know whether there was an actual rape.
Now, is an actual rape which is clearly against the consent of a woman ok? Of course not. It is a greatly sinful act. But Srila Prabhupada's idea of protection is not sentimental and superficial as feminism. It goes to the very root of the problem -women should not be independent, but always protected by a male figure.
After the purport where the "expert at rape" is mentioned, there is the following verse and a purport:
O mighty-armed, who in this world will not be attracted by your arms, which are just like the bodies of serpents? Actually you relieve the distress of husbandless women like us by your attractive smile and your aggressive mercy. We think that you are traveling on the surface of the earth just to benefit us only.
Srila Prabhupada comments:
When a husbandless woman is attacked by an aggressive man, she takes his action to be mercy. A woman is generally very much attracted by a man's long arms. A serpent's body is round, and it becomes narrower and thinner at the end. The beautiful arms of a man appear to a woman just like serpents, and she very much desires to be embraced by such arms.
The word anatha-varga is very significant in this verse. Natha means "husband," and a means "without." A young woman who has no husband is called anatha, meaning "one who is not protected." As soon as a woman attains the age of puberty, she immediately becomes very much agitated by sexual desire. It is therefore the duty of the father to get his daughter married before she attains puberty. Otherwise she will be very much mortified by not having a husband. Anyone who satisfies her desire for sex at that age becomes a great object of satisfaction. It is a psychological fact that when a woman at the age of puberty meets a man and the man satisfies her sexually, she will love that man for the rest of her life, regardless who he is. Thus so-called love within this material world is nothing but sexual satisfaction.
SB 4.25.43
Let's take now the example of a woman who gives consent to sex. From the materialistic point of view, such sex life is glorified since the pinnacle of material life is a happy sex life. From the spiritual point of view, however, it is also lust. As Srila Prabhupada says, the so-called love is nothing but desire for sex satisfaction. The real love is to love Krishna. Any other so-called love is nothing but lust. This lust can be spiritualized because in its essence it is the pure love for Krishna. But due to ignorance it manifests as lust for sex satisfaction. Srila
Prabhupada writes:
When a living entity comes in contact with the material creation, his eternal love for Krsna is transformed into lust, in association with the mode of passion. Or, in other words, the sense of love of God becomes transformed into lust, as milk in contact with sour tamarind is transformed into yogurt. Then again, when lust is unsatisfied, it turns into wrath; wrath is transformed into illusion, and illusion continues the material existence. Therefore, lust is the greatest enemy of the living entity, and it is lust only which induces the pure living entity to remain entangled in the material world. Wrath is the manifestation of the mode of ignorance; these modes exhibit themselves as wrath and other corollaries. If, therefore, the mode of passion, instead of being degraded into the mode of ignorance, is elevated to the mode of goodness by the prescribed method of living and acting, then one can be saved from the degradation of wrath by spiritual attachment.
Bg 3.37 purport
The Vedic society is arranged in such a way that the citizens are protected from lust by executing their specific roles in that society for the pleasure of Krsna. The duty of the leaders is to protect the citizens from lust and engage them in the service of Krishna. Because the leaders in the materialistic civilisation want to exploit the citizens, they try to increase their lust as much possible. Thus, they have invited feminism, which is nothing but a very elaborate system how to exploit women not on individual basis, but wholesale by removing them from the natural protection of their male family members.
Ravindra-svarupa: I think you really surprised them when you told them that this women's liberation is just a trick by the men just to increase the class of prostitutes, available prostitutes.
Prabhupada: Free prostitutes. You go to a prostitute, you have to pay. Here they have arranged in such a way that free prostitute loitering on the street, and you can enjoy any one. This is their plan. They are rendered into beggar, and they are thinking equal rights.
Morning Walk – July 14, 1975, Philadelphia
The woman's body is endowed with more sensuality as this is required to give love to a baby. It is a practical experience that men cannot give as much affection to children as women.
Prabhupada: The child does not go to the father for being taken care. It goes to the mother. Even animals. There are so many chicken, hens, they go after the mother.
Hari-sauri: They get milk from the mother, not from the father.
Prabhupada: Yes. How to stop it?
Lokanatha: How could father feed even the child?
Prabhupada: Just see, in our..., there are so many husbandless girls, and the children have not gone with the husbands, to the man. They are after the mother. This is natural.
Morning Walk – April 8, 1976, Vrndavana
Srila Prabhupada also writes:
It is understood that the sexual appetite of a woman is nine times greater than that of a man.
SB 3.23.44 purport
Women must be engaged otherwise they will be inclined to think of sex only. They are called kamini. Unless there is sufficient engagement their only thoughts will be concentrated on sex.
Letter to: Satsvarupa -- London 25 August, 1971
Prabhupada: Brahmacari... Man can remain without sex. It is not very difficult for him to. But women? Man can be trained up. He can remain throughout the whole life without sex. But it is a little difficult, unless they are given special protection. Special protection means strictly not to intermingle with any boy. Then they do. That is not possible in the Western... Otherwise she can remain brahmacarini under the protection of elder brother, or father and mother -- not to allow -- strict -- mix freely to the boys.
Radha-vallabha: In this country if they are left under the protection of their father and mother, then their father and mother will order them to have sex life.
Prabhupada: They make the girl prostitute to bring money. I have got experience. They do not like their young girls to marry. Better find out boys, and bring money. And once woman is trained up to prostitution, she will never become faithful wife. It is impossible. She is spoilt.
Room Conversation – May 15, 1976, Honolulu
The Vedic culture takes into consideration that woman's desire for children is stronger than man and therefore various rules and regulations within that society assures that every woman is married to a capable husband who can satisfy her lust but at the same time is able to maintain her and supply her and her children all the necessities she needs. For this reason, woman is protected by father in her youth, husband in her adulthood and her sons in her old age. Every responsible father makes sure that his daughter is protected from irresponsible men who simply want to use her for sex and that she is married to a suitable husband. Mothers in return teach their daughters how to take care of the husband, so the husband feels peace and inspiration in his home, which gives him great strength to pursue his work and thus be materially successful for the benefit of his family.
In the present non-Krsna conscious society, since the parents have given up such responsibilities, girls are forced to attract their husbands themselves by exposing their bodily parts or flirting with them and thus sometimes they get raped, exploited, etc. It is not the fault of the girls, but of the whole rotten society that has given up on the ideals of the varnasrama dharma and simply pursuing sex as the aim of life at the expense of exploited girls.
For this purpose Srila Prabhupada started his ISKCON centers. To give protection to Western girls, he allowed them to stay living in a barhmacarini asrama and practise Krsna consciousness in the association of devotees. In this way, the girl is given what her parents could not give and at the same time make advancement in Krishna consciousness. The brahmacari boys then could marry some of these girls to create Krsna conscious family. This was the whole idea of Srila Prabhupada and it worked nicely. Here are some of the points Srila Prabhupada raises on the topic of brahmacarini asrama:
I understand that you are trying to organize a Brahmacarini asrama. A Brahmacarini asrama is certainly a great necessity because there are so many girl devotees who are attached to our Krishna Consciousness movement. Those who are married couple, there is nothing to be said -- simply to live together as husband and wife. But those who are not married certainly such Brahmacaris and Brahmacarinis should not live together. That is a special restricted term of our cult. But because in your country there is no distinction between boys and girls, or man and woman, they can freely mix without any restriction, I did not give too much stricture on this point because by such stricture they might be annoyed, and whatever Krishna Consciousness they are trying to develop might have been checked. But factually if you can organize a Brahmacarini asrama, it will be very nice idea. And I think that our Jadurani or similar other girl students of a little bit advanced, they can manage such asrama. But there is another difficulty, that when the girls live together they will pick up quarrels. Anyway, that sort of quarreling will continue whenever there is a little bit individuality. That is the nature. Even such quarreling is visible in the spiritual world also. But the main thing is that in Boston, you are the only earning member. How you will maintain such a Brahmacarini asrama separately unless there is some source of income. I expected that the pictures painted by the Brahmacarinis would be a source of income to the society. If some arrangement for such sales organization can be made, then it will be a very excellent idea. The Brahmacarinis cannot go, of course, for begging, but if some of them agree to go out and sell our books and literature, that will also be helpful. Some source of income by honest endeavor must be there, otherwise, how a nice Brahmacarini asrama can be maintained? In the asrama we must supply all inmates necessary nutritious food. Especially in your country, because they were accustomed to take meat and some protein food, just like regular supply of dahl, capatis, rice, fruits and milk, must be properly administered. There is no need of eating more than necessity, but the minimum demands must be supplied. But if you can organize such nice Brahmacarini asrama it will be a great success of our society. There is a great need for this. And I wish sincerely that except for husband and wife, everyone should live separately, man separate from woman, and woman separate from man. I shall be glad to hear from you about further developments. But one thing can be very nicely utilized, if the Brahmacarinis learn typographic machine. That will be a great help because printing is one of our most important line of activities. And if the Brahmacarinis help us in the making of letter printing sheets for photo offset printing, that will be a great help.
Letter to: Satsvarupa -- Montreal 12 July, 1968
I hope this answers your question. Of course this is a more complex topic and you can question me further if need be.
your servant purujit dasa
more quotes:
Woman reporter: Would you say that women are inferior to men?
Prabhupada: Yes.
Woman reporter: Why?
Prabhupada: By physiological condition. Just like you are... Your bodily features are different from the man's features. You cannot deny it. So according to the bodily features, the psychological condition and everything is there. How you can deny it?
Woman reporter: Do you think that I am inferior to you?
Prabhupada: It is not the question of inferior or superior. Different. Now you take one inferior or superior. That is your calculation. But the bodily features are different. That is materially. But spiritually, they are all one. Materially... Just like your bodily feature and a man's bodily feature is different. Now, so far question of inferior, superior, that is your calculation. But we say that by nature, a woman and man is different.
Woman reporter: What does this mean as far as whether women can do the same things that men can do, or whether women can lead people?
Prabhupada: Well, women can bear children, but the man cannot. Is it possible to bear children, a man can become pregnant? Is it possible?
Woman reporter: No.
Prabhupada: Physically... Therefore there are so many things which is possible in man and which is not possible in woman, by nature. How you can say that they are of the same nature?
Woman reporter: I'm not saying they're the same. What can...
Prabhupada: Then if you not saying that, then they are different in their physiological condition. So now this physiological condition, you may calculate, "This is better or this is better." That is your calculation. Our calculation is the man and woman are different in their physiological condition.
Woman reporter: But you say women are subordinate to men.
Prabhupada: Yes, that is also natural. Because when the husband and wife are there or the father and daughter is there, so the daughter is subordinate to the father and the wife is subordinate to the husband.
Woman reporter: What happens when women are not subordinate to men?
Prabhupada: Then there is disruption. There is disruption, social disruption. If the woman does not become subordinate to man, then there is social disruption. Therefore, in the Western countries there are so many divorce cases because the woman does not agree to become subordinate to man. That is the cause.
Woman reporter: What advice do you have to women who do not want to be subordinate to men?
Prabhupada: It is not my advice, but it is the advice of the Vedic knowledge that woman should be chaste and faithful to man.
Woman reporter: What should we do in the United States? We're trying to make women equal with men.
Prabhupada: I am not trying. You are not..., already not equal with the man because in so many respects your functions are different and man's function are different. Why do you say artificially they are equal? As I told you that the husband and wife -- the wife has to become pregnant, not the husband. How you can change this, both the husband and wife will be pregnant? Is it possible? Is it possible?
Woman reporter: No, it is not.
Prabhupada: Then by nature one has to function differently from the other.
Woman reporter: But why does this mean...?
Prabhupada: So how you can change?
Woman reporter: Why does this mean that women have to be subordinate?
Prabhupada: Yes.
Woman reporter: Just because they bear children and men can't?
Prabhupada: Well, by nature... No, as soon as you get children, you require support from the husband. Otherwise you are in difficulty.
Woman reporter: Many women have children and have no support from husbands. They have no husband.
Prabhupada: Then they have to take support from others. You cannot deny that. The government is giving you support. But the government is embarrassed. If the husband supports the wife and children, the government is relieved of so much welfare contribution. So that is a problem.
Woman reporter: What happens when women support men?
Prabhupada: First of all try to understand that you depend. The... After man and woman unite, there is children, and the man goes away, and you are embarrassed. The woman is embarrassed. Why? Why this is..., is made possible? A man and woman unites, and the woman becomes pregnant, and the husband goes away. Then the poor woman is embarrassed with the child. She has to beg from the government. So do you think it is very nice thing? The Vedic idea is that woman should be married to a man, and the man should take charge of the woman and the children independently, so that they do not become a burden to the government or to the public.
Woman reporter: Do you think the social unrest...
Prabhupada: I am thinking like this. You give me the answer. Simply you go on questioning. I question you: do you think this burden to the government or the public is good?
Woman reporter: I don't understand what you're saying.
Nitai: Do you think that the burden caused when the husband goes away from the wife, that burden to the government is good?
Woman reporter: No.
Prabhupada: So that has happened. Because the woman does not agree to be subordinate -- she wants equal freedom -- so the husband goes away and the woman is embarrassed with the children. And it becomes a burden to the government.
Woman reporter: Is there anything wrong when the woman works?
Prabhupada: There are so many things wrong. But first thing is the wife, the woman, the wife of somebody, and the child born by somebody, they should become burden to the government or to the public? First of all answer this thing. Why she should become burden to the government? What is your answer?
Woman reporter: Well, men are a burden to the government too.
Prabhupada: Do you think, from social point of view, this position of woman and the fatherless children are very nice thing? No.
Woman reporter: What I'm trying to say is that... This may happen to some women. I'm talking about women who are not...
Prabhupada: Not... These are the general cases. You cannot say "some." I see in America mostly the woman...
Woman reporter: Oh, then what you're saying is not all women should be subordinate to all men.
Prabhupada: No, man should be subordinate to the man, woman, so that the man can take charge of the woman. Then that woman is not a problem to the public.
Woman reporter: Is it true for all woman and all men?
Prabhupada: Yes, that is the nature. You take even in the dogs. The dogs, they also take care of their children. The tigers, they take care of the children. So in the human society, if the woman is made pregnant and the man goes away and she is embarrassed, she has to beg from the government, that is not a very good situation.
Woman reporter: What about women who do not have children?
Prabhupada: Well, that is also another unnatural thing. Sometimes they use contraceptives. They kill children, abortion. That is also not very good. These are all sinful activities. These are sinful activities, to kill child in the womb and take shelter of abortion. These are all sinful activities. One has to suffer for that.
Woman reporter: Is the social unrest in this country caused because...
Prabhupada: Because of these things. They do not know that.
Woman reporter: And if women were subordinate to men, it would solve all of our problems?
Prabhupada: Yes. Man wants that woman should be subordinate, faithful to him. Then he is ready to take charge. The man's mentality, woman's mentality different. So if the woman agrees to remain faithful and subordinate to man, then the family life will be peaceful.
Television Interview – July 9, 1975, Chicago
As children are very prone to be misled, women are similarly very prone to degradation. Therefore, both children and women require protection by the elder members of the family.
(-Srila Prabhupada, Bhagavad-Gita As It Is, Chapter 1, verse 40)
A man’s psychology and woman’s psychology are different. As constituted by bodily frame, a man always wants to be superior to his wife, and a woman, as bodily constituted, is naturally inferior to her husband. Thus the natural instinct is that the husband wants to post himself as superior to the wife, and this must be observed. Even if there is some wrong on the part of the husband, the wife must tolerate it, and thus there will be no misunderstanding between husband and wife.
(-Srila Prabhupada, Srimad Bhagavatam, Book 3, Chapter 23, verse 2)